It's not always fun, that's for sure - I don't care whether it's a relationship, a ritual, eating right, exercise, or anything else. The whole point in a commitment is around that very time when it's not fun, that you remain committed to whatever it is precisely when you don't feel like it, when you don't like that person very much right now, when you don't want to skimp on the dessert, when you don't want to go for a run, or to church, or to work...
I think we've made it easy in our society to skip out on commitments. Many people get married without truly examining what commitment means because they know they can get divorced if it doesn't work out. The fact that prenuptual agreements are so common and accepted in this country is disturbing when you consider what it's saying about our society in general and our commitment to commitment.
New Year's resolutions are another fine example of how we take our commitments with a grain of salt. Who's ever kept one? Whoever they are, they are certainly in the minority. It's pretty much accepted that you'll make a resolution, keep it for a little while, and then forget about it (until the next year and the next resolution).
There's a problem with all of this, and it's a problem of integrity and self worth. When we don't keep our word, we don't feel good about ourselves, and the less we feel good about ourselves, the more our self worth is eroded. Integrity and self worth go hand in hand. I don't care what the commitment is - if we make a commitment and break it, we are acting out of integrity. We can blame other people or society or the media or advertising or anything else, but at the end of the day, it is our word we have broken. And that doesn't feel good.
Commitment is about sticking with something when we don't feel like it. And when we stick by our commitments, we feel good about ourselves. That's why it's so important to make commitments we can keep - not insane New Year's resolutions to never eat sugar again or to run 20 miles a day, but little, keepable ones, like walking for 15 minutes a few times a week, or meditating 5 minutes a day. Those are keepeable, and the more we keep our commitments, the better we feel about ourselves and the bigger we start to make new ones.
So, while most days I love blogging, it is definitely a commitment. Some days it's just plain hard to come up with a topic. But there's a really cool thing that happens at those times, and it never fails: Once I actually sit down and write, I remember why I made the commitment to begin with, and I find my passion all over again.
We make commitments because of an attraction of some sort or another. When we keep our commitments, we return to that initial attraction, if even only partially, and it helps us stay on track. And when we keep our commitments, we feel good, and life is just that much better again.
What are your commitments? Today, I invite you to find the attraction/s that motivated your commitment/s in the first place, to re-commit where they're keepable, to un-commit where they're unkeepable, and to embrace your integrity. You deserve to feel good, and feeling good starts and ends with you - I invite you to make that your biggest commitment, and all else will fall miraculously into place...