We all do this. No matter how "conscious" we consider ourselves, no matter how careful we are with the words we use - in front of people and behind closed doors - we all come up against things that challenge our ways of thinking, things that bring out the areas where we are the most closeminded. And when we come up against our own closemindedness, we are threatened, because we have to choose, then, between acknowledging our limited thinking and defending it. And a lot of times it's "easier," in the short run, to defend it, because to acknowledge it means we are forced to face it, to change.
The problem with taking the "easier" way out is that it isn't, in the long run, easier. Every time we choose to defend our closedmindedness, we hurt someone with it, whether directly or indirectly. Our words fall out of our mouths in our attempt to defend our little world, and inevitably someone, somewhere gets hurt.
Where are you closedminded? Where do you feel you are so right that you have to defend it? If you can answer that, therein lies the key...
It was through this experience today that I was able to become aware that my perception of closedmindedness is exactly where my own closedmindedness lies. I felt right. No, I knew I was right. But so did the person who had said the words. And in my unwillingness to let go of being right, I became them.
If I am unwilling to understand where someone's hurtful words might be coming from, then I have become closedminded. If I am unwilling to accept that someone saying something hurtful is saying it out of confusion and/or pain, then I have become closedminded.
Today, I am going to pay attention to the words I use and to when I feel the need to be right. I am going to pay attention to my own closedmindedness and make the choice to choose change instead of defense. No-one deserves to be the object of hurtful words or sentiments, whether conscious or not, just because I am unwilling to face my own dragons. Today, I take full responsibility for my all words and for my actions. And I allow others the freedom to take responsibility for theirs.