What do you want? Usually, when we're busy blaming everyone and everything around us for something, it is because we are separated from what it is we want. We flail about, making the problem bigger and bigger, and certainly more complicated, and often - usually - it can be simplified in an instant by our just asking ourselves, "what is it I want?" When we lash out at someone, it's because we want something and aren't able to articulate it. When we make ourselves the victim, it's because we want something and aren't able to articulate it. When we sink into desparation, it's because we want something and aren't able to articulate it.
What do you want? You are the captain of your ship. You have the power to change your life, and it starts with you. Your outer world is a mirror of your inner - by identifying your wants, you send the message loud and clear not just because you have identified them but because by identifying them you can then act accordingly. You can set clearer boundaries. You can help others better because you feel clearer about yourself. You can make decisions that are in alignment with what you want. And you can honor others better because when you know what it is you want, you are in a better position to help others identify what it is they want.
Being able to identify what you want at any given time (it applies to the "littlest" things as well as the "biggest") changes your life. It improves your relationships and increases your productivity. It makes you feel good about you. And when you feel good about you, you feel good about others, and then others feel good about you too.
Today, I invite you to ask yourself what it is you want. Ask the question in general, but ask it specifically when you are frustrated or upset. What is it you want? Sometimes, the answer is around another person - "I want him/her to..." That isn't what you want. What you want is deeper than that, and it is about you. If that person did what you "wanted," what would the end result be for you in terms of how you feel about yourself and life? That's the answer you're looking for.
Deep down, no-one wants to hurt another person. We all just want what we want. But instead of understanding our wants, we project them onto others and hurt those around us. In the end, we all want to be loved. We all want to be understood. We all want to be cared for. We deserve to speak our wants, but how can we speak them if we don't even know what they are?
What is it you want?